Recent events have taken me back to painful lessons I have learned in the schoolyard and in life. I learned the hard way in school. I learned the hard way not to take sides when friends have a rift. I always picked a side, the two friends made up and now I was on the outside. It has taken me a lifetime to figure out what to do when I am angry with someone or two people I care about fall out...I was 38 before the words of wisdom came to me. Was I or the offended party sinned against or was God sinned against? If God is being sinned against, easy call. If I am upset because I am not getting my way...I am sinning. If two people I care about are in a dispute, I have to look at it the same way.
I was 39 before I learned my most important lesson in parenting...Love your kids like they won't be here in a year and teach them like you won't be here in a year.
This week these two principles of my limited wisdom have been brought into my life. Someone I care about very much is very upset because I have not stopped talking to someone who hurt her. Does this mean I care less about her? Absolutely not. I had to go to the Bible for my decision in this. When Hagar and Sarai hurt each other (and Abram sat passively by...men, another story) did God let Hagar hide when she ran away? No. "The God who sees" lovingly told her to go back and to do what is right. All three characters had to reap the consequences of their sin. Did God love them less because he wouldn't let His loved children hide when the going got rough? He loved them passionately. He refined their character by letting His loved children learn to do what is right even if when it was painful and uncomfortable. I must love those around me in the same way.
If my sweet H hits another child in the schoolyard and the other child says "I don't want to be your friend anymore" I am not going to take H's side. I am a weird mom, I believe my child needs to apologize for any offense and understand if that child never wants to play with her again. I am not going to remove H from the uncomfortable situation of being friendless. We're not moving, she isn't changing schools. She is going to have to see that child everyday and learn how to deal with it. It is a consequence. It is a situation my child is going to face throughout her life when she sins against others and does not honor God. I believe it is for His glory that he lets us reap what we sow.
I love my friends and family deeply but I have go one step further in this crazy life we lead...do I protect them from their hurt or let them learn to deal with it? One day I won't be here, all I can do is love them like crazy, pray for them daily, and let them learn.
I was 39 before I learned my most important lesson in parenting...Love your kids like they won't be here in a year and teach them like you won't be here in a year.
This week these two principles of my limited wisdom have been brought into my life. Someone I care about very much is very upset because I have not stopped talking to someone who hurt her. Does this mean I care less about her? Absolutely not. I had to go to the Bible for my decision in this. When Hagar and Sarai hurt each other (and Abram sat passively by...men, another story) did God let Hagar hide when she ran away? No. "The God who sees" lovingly told her to go back and to do what is right. All three characters had to reap the consequences of their sin. Did God love them less because he wouldn't let His loved children hide when the going got rough? He loved them passionately. He refined their character by letting His loved children learn to do what is right even if when it was painful and uncomfortable. I must love those around me in the same way.
If my sweet H hits another child in the schoolyard and the other child says "I don't want to be your friend anymore" I am not going to take H's side. I am a weird mom, I believe my child needs to apologize for any offense and understand if that child never wants to play with her again. I am not going to remove H from the uncomfortable situation of being friendless. We're not moving, she isn't changing schools. She is going to have to see that child everyday and learn how to deal with it. It is a consequence. It is a situation my child is going to face throughout her life when she sins against others and does not honor God. I believe it is for His glory that he lets us reap what we sow.
I love my friends and family deeply but I have go one step further in this crazy life we lead...do I protect them from their hurt or let them learn to deal with it? One day I won't be here, all I can do is love them like crazy, pray for them daily, and let them learn.
1 comment:
Very well said. Thanks for reminding me of these things in my own life.
Post a Comment