Frustrated

Technology is the devil's tool. Period. I've been spending hours and hours trying to register my kids and I can't submit their registrations without their transcripts...but I don't have their transcripts. Isn't that the job of the School's Registrar? Get the transcripts so I don't submit false ones? My kids are in limbo. School-less.

Therefore, I am frustrated.

I also hate technology because I see our culture imploding from social media. The hateful things that people write without respect for the person they just wrote a disparaging remark about...or families who sit at a table partaking in food with their faces buried in their phone. I was taught in my literature class that meal scenes in books are pivotal...it's the making or breaking of an important relationship. Pay attention to the meal scene when analyzing a book. Now phones do that...relationships are created through Snapchat or Intstagram...and those relationships are broken through Social Media by blocking or unfollowing...they are also broken through a text. No face to face, no body language, no inflection of voice...just words.

I am trying to teach my children to be respectful human beings and technology is making it really hard.

Therefore, I am frustrated.

Is it too late to turn back the clock to dial phones, stamped envelopes, and face to face relationships?

I think

I think...our decision has been made for Matthew to stay with Jr Preds. A hard decision was made more difficult when his favorite defense partner was cut from the team.

This week has been an eye opening experience. The two tier 1 teams were busy making offers to kids on the rival teams...and I learned I need to learn the art of the deal. Some kids got free deals, some were promised first and second lines. I am so naive. I thought you were selected for a team, signed a commitment, paid your fee, showed up at practices, worked hard, listened to your coach, and earned your spot and ice time. NOT true. You really need an agent for youth hockey.

My husband and I not being savvy deal makers, especially when you don't know you can deal, have decided to stay with NJP. The first two lines for Thunder have been awarded (keep in mind tryouts are today) and the only positions left are on third line. IT would be much easier on the family to practice in Huntsville but Matthew will develop more as a player staying where he is. He is already on penalty kills and power plays, he wouldn't be on those if we move him.

So next season, we will be a lot more savvy and get ourselves a negotiator....okay, that's probably not allowed but we will ask a whole lot more questions and not worry about being unreasonable...I want a team where Matthew earns his spot and isn't blocked from moving to the front line because other parents negotiated their player a spot. So, NJP, we are here...at least for the next season. I probably need to start looking for tire deals, I'm probably going to need a new set before the end of the year.

It's Almost Mother's Day

Here it is the Saturday before Mother's Day and I have no plan how to celebrate.

Hannah is hunkered down with schoolwork. Matthew is in Toronto playing hockey. Lauren is overwhelmed with work.

Lauren sent me a Snapchat asking me the plan for tomorrow. Isn't that the point of Mother's Day? Mothers don't do the planning? The children do? I think this might be a good time to remember that for me, every day is Mother's Day and skip expecting a celebration. This year, it isn't going to be everyone together and I am blessed I have children. That's enough.

parenting

I've always thought it funny that you have to take a test to drive a car but not to be a parent.

Lately, I feel like I have come up short on parenting skills and if I took a test, I would achieve a high D or very low C.

I feel this huge weight on me and I can't seem to lift it. A few days ago, I noticed Hannah had her stuffed animal, Marley. Marley has been on the shelf a few years and I noticed Marley has been by her side every day since I first noticed it. A huge sign to this parent, she needs her childhood friend for a feeling of security.

School for both of my brilliant children (they are both far more intelligent than me) has been a source of friction the last few months.

School for both kids is online and two days a week in the classroom for my social kids...it's a very quiet environment much like an actual college environment but not conducive to making friends. Both would like to go to the high school next to our subdivision but....there is a 5 parent note limit and hockey would exceed this in two tournaments...and we get home so late from Nashville, Matthew can sleep in with his current school. He is a sound sleeper so getting him up at any time is a challenge, the earlier tho more difficult.

Hockey is another area I can't find an answer. Do I move Matthew to another team or do we stay where we are. We are blessed, we have options, both teams want him but I don't have peace about either team.

If I move him, I don't have to drive to Nashville. However, he would have to practice with the local U18 team...which a U18 mom probably wouldn't like at all and would the Team's Coach actually coach him or focus on his team? Who would blame him?

Neither of these situations are life and death and I know other parents are dealing with much more serious issues with their children but I feel this huge weight on me...like actual weight...and I can't figure out what to do and both situations need a decision...Soon. Hockey, tomorrow and school next week.

I keep waiting for a sign from God. My prayers for wisdom and discernment are leaving me with no gift of either...so I pray and hope no one gives me a report card on my parenting. I always had good grades in school and this feeling of failure is a heavy burden I can't shake.

Southernisms

Chicken Salad Chick is a total chick food place that serves...chicken salad. I adore this place. I found these framed southern sayings while washing my hands...I forgot I meant to put them on my blog until today when I finally sat down to delete some photos off the computer...I have a lot photo chores to do...like actually print some pictures from the past two years and delete photos and make photo books...oh yeah...here are the pictures...before I delete them...

Today

Thoughts of posts, amusing, memorable, swirl in my head as I am driving (and I do a LOT of driving). However, when I sit down at the desktop and think "I should post something and share when Hannah ____ or Matthew _____, I draw a complete blank. I remember thinking something funny, but what the heck was it?

And here I am at the computer, checking Facebook because I refuse to install the Messenger app to my phone since I don't want it having access to my texts and contacts. I already feel violated by them and their ads using my posts and messages for targeted ads, why give them more access?  Where was I going with this? Oh yes, I thought I would post something to let my family know what we are up to and I have already forgotten the witty and amusing posts I came up with while driving to the Ice Rink so the kids could help teach hockey at Learn to Play.

There is one conversation that I do remember...I told Hannah I could no longer multi-task now that I am 50++ and I am lucky I remember to breathe...I got a lecture from my Science Girl about how remembering to breathe would be impossible since it is an involuntary something or other...and on and on about how breathing works...my mind kind of went somewhere else during my science lecture, did I mention I am old and my mind is prone to wander?