It's Valentine's Day

Love is in the air, life has me thinking about love...feeling love...showing love.

Love languages...the importance of learning someone's love language to show you care about them...touch, time, acts of service, receiving gifts, and words of affirmation.

I have discovered my love language doesn't fall into these five categories. My love language is truth. If you love me, you will tell me the truth. Always. It may make you ashamed or embarrassed but if you lie to me, the situation is going to be so much worse than if you had just told me the truth.

When I am lied to, it shakes me to the core and conveys you do not care about your relationship with me at all. Telling the truth means our relationship is more important than your selfish reason for lying. It shows love...I love you enough to tell you the truth.

Life has taught me the importance of telling the truth and the destruction of lies. It has become my love language, it tells me I am valued, I am respected. Gifts are nice, kind words are nice, affirming words are nice, time together is nice, doing things for me is nice, but transparency and truth tell me you value our relationship and it is priceless.

Lacrosse, Anyone?

Matthew asked if he could play football for his new school. He has never shown any interest in football before so I asked him why he wanted to play. "So I can hit people" was his response. I asked if he really wanted to waste his two concussion limit on a sport that he has never really been interested in before...we kind of left it at that.

Last week, I was talking to a mom who had signed her son up for Lacrosse. The lightbulb went off "That's it!" the perfect answer to a second sport Matthew could play because it has similarities to hockey.  I sent Matthew a text asking if he wanted to play. He asked if he could "truck people" and I thought given all the past hockey drama, he meant "trust people." Our conversation looked like this:

Yeah, he's signed up to play.

Screeenshot Central

I stole a few screenshots this past weekend

Vegas, Baby!

I've been trying to get Matthew back in shape after the broken clavicle on December 1. I coughed up some money for a trainer, some lessons with The Angry Slovakian, feeding him Vitamin D and calcium...and then...he got the flu. We started over today with the Trainer and The Angry Slovakian. I am not sure how it will all work out...M has a Tournament in Vegas this weekend...and he is playing against the team that broke his clavicle at the NHL Elite Youth Cup. Can you say, "Nervous Mom.?" I am not sure he is ready, his coach thinks so...the doctors have cleared him but there is a little more healing so...can you say, "Really Nervous Mom?"

Hannah pitched in to help stretch Matthew at the end of his workout. What a nice seeester.

I wish

Wisdom. It seems to elude me. Yesterday, I listened to my pastor speak and there he was perfecting all the thoughts I have unsuccessfully tried to teach my children. All the sage advice I have tried to show my children, perfectly shown in 20/20 in one small sermon. The things about relationships I wish I had been taught when I was young. Pay attention, Kids, this is your dating life from here on...

So, you want to date my child? You need to know this is how it is going to be. Watch here:

https://www.churchofthehighlands.com/media/message/a-season-for-everything1

Irrevocably Broken

Shattered glass is all around me. I can't move forward, I can't move right, I can't move left, my back is against a wall. The thing I saw as so beautiful is in pieces everywhere. Tiny little pieces that I have no idea how to make whole and beautiful. The thing I held so dear thrown at my feet and the shards cut...I keep praying God how do I put this back together? I hear nothing...except the crunching of glass as the thrower breaks the pieces into tiny splinters.

Quarantine

I have quarantined us so we do not spread our bugs. Okay, not an official quarantine...I took H to practice (I'm sure the rink has bugs that man hasn't even discovered yet) and the orthodontist...but mostly, we are homebodies...

I have to say it is kind of nice. It's a rainy day. The house is quiet except for Matthew's cough and I am in pajamas. All I need is a cup of tea...time to fulfill that desire...now...

So. You Want to Date my Children

Let's talk. I want to get this right out in the open. I have some expectations that go beyond the outward behavior, I want something deeper. I want you to know something deeper. Deep in the heart, to the marrow of your soul. This is for your benefit as much as my child's benefit. There will be no sex until marriage. Yep, so if your looking to satisfy your needs, keep moving. I love my children and there is so much more to sex than what the world and your personal desires are telling you. I am going to let my pastor explain it to you. He is much more eloquent than I am...and a bit more humorous.

So. You want to date one of my children? You will watch these two videos and if you can agree to keep your desires to yourself and do what is best for my child...then...you can date. If you go off on the selfish "It's all about me and what I want" path. Hit the road.

Watch here.

https://www.churchofthehighlands.com/media/message/overcoming-sexual-strongholds



https://www.churchofthehighlands.com/media/message/the-art-of-attraction1



Now that you've watched. Are you still interested?

Motherhood, not as easy as everyone makes it Sound

Let's just put it out there, I hate disciplining. Why? I hate conflict...I think I have mentioned that before...but I love my children and I don't want them to be parasites in society.

God disciplines us because He loves us, I discipline my children because I love them. Hebrews 12:6 "For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.”

My children know how to pull out the "let's charm the parent" when being disciplined...Matthew with his crazy voices and H with her big eyes and curls. Works on dad, doesn't work on me. (I will confess being the only one who disciplines gets weary)

Easiest way to discipline? Take the phone. However, it is the hardest because I can't reach them...like today. I was going to pick up lunch after Matthew's doctor appointment and texted my lovely daughter to see what she would like...after a few minutes of not hearing back from her...I realized "Oh yeah, she lost her phone." Inconvenient. 

Which leads me to the question, why don't my children just do what they are supposed to do and then I don't have to discipline....and...they get what they want for lunch and not what I decide to provide. So simple yet so out of their understanding. Rant over.

Invaded

Nasty little invisible creatures have invaded the home...it has been confirmed by the doctor, The flu bug found a host creature in Matthew and is looking for future hosts with each cough, sneeze, or touch of a handle.

My goals: I do not get sick. The Big Man does not get sick since men are big babies, H does not get sick. Get M well enough to play some hockey before the season is over.

I think I may not reach goal one since I am feeling a bit squishy. I'm taking my Tamiflu now.

Squishy

Squishy. That is how Matthew described how he felt last night.

We went out for a family dinner and Matthew turned down a hockey game to go home. I had a feeling something was out of whack.

The flu epidemic has swept the nation and our little home was left unaffected...until now. The Birthday Boy is sick. I know without the swab, it's the flu...fever, congestion, cough. I felt his forehead after he said he felt "squishy" grabbed the water and a thermometer, ascended the stairs and had my mom instinct confirmed.

I am left with the decision of take him to Urgent Care so they can confirm what I know or do what they're going to tell me to do...fluids, rest, ibuprofen. Do I go so he can have the Tamiflu, which is only 30% effective? My mom wisdom stops there. Ugh...as I listen to him cough, I am thinking of spraying him with Lysol...

Letters of Hope

Hope. Encouragement. It's the purpose of the letters our church does as part of its prison ministry. I enjoy writing them (before you panic that I am writing strange men in prison, there is no personal information shared by the letter writers and all letters go through two censors before reaching a prisoner...the letters are signed from the church and the recipient has no idea if a man or woman wrote the letter...although I am sure the handwriting provides an indication). Writing the letters actually bless me probably more than the inmate because I realize how simple and easy my life is...and how free I am. I cannot imagine life incarcerated.

There is one prayer connection card that I get from time to time that breaks my heart. The man seemingly has the mind of a child but did commit a serious crime. It seems like there should be something where he is confined but not with the prisoners who might mock or abuse him.

I wish I had wisdom to think of a better way and become a Norma Rae of the prison system. But, I do not have an answer to I write to give hope and encourage.

M is 14

My sweet Matthew is 14. I can't believe it. His voice is deep, he's taller than me, he's fierce about hockey, and he is blessed by God. (Although to be honest he was a bit sweeter before the testosterone kicked in)

Speaking of testosterone, he is asking to play football. I asked him why...his answer? I want to hit people. Ummm, no. I have given him a 2 concussion limit for hockey, let's not waste those. "You can hit people in hockey" was my response.

I thought it was really nice to our church had their big party on his birthday, saved me a lot of work. Kidding, we are celebrating today. One of the youth leaders took him to Chipotle today for a birthday lunch and we will take him to his favorite restaurant tonight, Pane e Vino. It occurred to me the restaurant is probably Jesus approved "Bread and Wine." Ha! Kidding.

Anyway, here are a few pictures from last night. Lauren refused to have a Kodak moment (she was under the weather so not feeling her finest). I'll try again tonight.

This one is my favorite, he hates it but I love it. He rarely smiles for a picture

I'm Dawdling

I love my church. It is like a breath of fresh air. The teaching is solid but there is love and laughter and I feel like I'm home.

The best thing I love about my church is they have a sense of humor. Teaching comes with laughter, appreciation comes with laughter, and let's face it, I like to laugh.

Last night, we had our Dream Team Party. (The Dream Team Party was created when our pastor started the Church and wanted people to give their ideas for what they wanted from a church. We have all become so conditioned to be being told by the leader what to do, people were afraid to say anything. Pastor Chris wanted people to dream, envision what they would like this church to be...and about that time the Olympics were going on and we had The Dream Team in basketball...hence, the Dream Team name was given to everyone helping build the church) Okay, history lesson over...our church has a big dinner once a year to thank all who serve. Cajun and Comedy is the theme because our Pastor is from Louisiana. I missed the party last year and was so sorry when everyone was talking about the music skits. The music interpretation has been my favorite part each year...I was dismayed there were no skits last night. I have a feeling Pastor Chris wanted the Worship Team to enjoy the part too. Praise the Lord for YouTube. I can watch last year's skits this year. (And I still had fun last night music or no music).

Watch last year's tribute to the Usher Team, Coffee/Hospitality Team, The Administrative Team, The Worship Guide Team, and our Setup/Take down team for the portable campuses (Like Ours)

Funny (Hysterical Stuff). Watch it here:

2017 Dream Team Party Songs from Church of the Highlands on Vimeo.

And just for fun, I'm going to add the songs from 2015:

2015 Dream Team Songs from Church of the Highlands on Vimeo.

Parking Spaces

I'll let you in on a family secret. I pray for parking spaces. True Story. Jesus cares about all the details of our lives so I just put my parking space up in prayer. It works every time. If I don't ask, I usually don't find one. This is especially true when I take Matthew to Centennial for practice. If I don't ask for a parking spot, I end up over by Tri Centennial Hospital. It's not the greatest area and I don't mind the walk but I really don't want to get robbed during my hike to the Rink. So...I pray.



My daughters find this quite amusing and feel free to disparage me. The beginning of this video had the two mocking me. Ha! I laugh. it works, disparage away. (And I love this video1)

Resolution

Resolution is such a beautiful thing.

Yesterday, Hannah was dreading going to the Rink for fear of running into her ex-boyfriend and the crazy stalker. She held her head high and did what she had to do. She had a lovely talk with her ex-boyfriend, established they will remain friends, confirmed the leak (allow me to say "I told you" right here) and the obsessed teammate stayed away from her. It was a good night and a positive lesson to always speak to the person when there is a mis-understanding. I learned a lesson in conflict resolution from my wee one.

My next prayer for my daughter is to stop defending the friend who spoke out of turn and lied to Hannah and me in my house, swearing she didn't say anything...and sat there when I asked her brother if he did....not a word came from her mouth. Not a single "Ooops, that's my fault" or "My bad" did she speak. She just sat there like an innocent when I questioned Matthew like the scariest and yet most gentle speaking anti-terrorist interrogator imaginable. I kindly discussed the importance of keeping a confidence and all the drama that came from breaking a confidence.  How this whole situation could have been avoided and a friendship could have been maintained. I spoke these words knowing very well the real person I wanted to hear these words was sitting right across from me. I was kind, firm, and coaxing with my gut instinct on full alert. And not a word did she speak. She sat there willing to let someone else take the blame for her actions. She was astounded that someone told the boy. And yet she knew full well, Hannah had a plan in place out of respect for the boy's love of soccer to talk to him that evening..and still, this "friend"... inserted herself into a situation she had no place to be. A simple, "Call her if you think something is wrong" response was all that was required when he asked.

Which brings me to the next question that I raised to Hannah, why is this girl still talking to the ex-boyfriend and his best friend? She hasn't even met them, she wouldn't even know them except through Hannah, why is this "friend" showing more loyalty to the boys than her? Why was this friend willing to let Matthew take the blame? And still Hannah defends her...

I have so much to learn from my beautiful daughter and so much to teach her.

January Snow

After many false starts at predicted weather and school closures, snow actually arrived to the Heart of Dixie.

It wasn't much but it doesn't take much to make this girl dance with joy for the falling flakes.

Sweet Sixteen

I've been so negligent on my blog and keeping up to date. Not only is Matthew 14 tomorrow, Hannah turned sixteen last week. The funniest part of all this growing too fast and missing my babies is now people think Matthew is the older brother.

Lauren went all out baking the world's best chocolate cake from scratch for her sister. It was delicious. Hannah picked Italian instead of Chinese this year so massive quantities of food were consumed at Carrabba's. To wrap it all up a birthday breakfast for just the girls after attending 6 a.m. prayer with our waitress giving Hannah a triple berry muffin warmed with little pockets of butter.

Hannah' birthday always falls during 21 Days of Prayer and Fasting. This year, I broke my fast to celebrate her birthday...Our church teaches people before rules so I implemented this idea to my fast. I am so glad I did this, it seemed to put a damper on the celebration in past years.

Hannah is a woman of simple tastes that loves clothes so a Stitch Fix box was ordered and it was perfectly styled.

Now...we just need a little free time to go get her driver's license and she will be rockin' her 16th year of life.

Matthew Update

Matthew had a follow up on Monday for his broken clavicle and we fully expected him to be cleared to play. He was not. Now we are in a bind. He has a huge tournament coming up over President's Day weekend in Las Vegas. Do we buy plane tickets or not?

Matthew goes back on the 12th, 3 days before we would have to fly to Las Vegas. And if he is cleared for contact, will he be ready to get back on the ice. Imagine the sick feeling in my stomach when I saw his 4th game would be against the Phoenix Coyotes...the team he was playing when his clavicle was broken on December 1. Yeah, I am not mentioning it to him.

I am doing my best to get him in shape to play after being sidelined and unable to do much of anything besides sitting and walking. He is doing some training at the gym and a few lessons at Stick and Puck...I am even dragging him to yoga. He hasn't complained at all. He is quite the hard worker...which leaves me back to the question, will he be ready physically and mentally for Vegas?

Just a side note, tomorrow is his 14th Birthday! They grow so so fast!

Resolution Conflict

My weakest personality trait is conflict resolution. I really stink at it. This past year, God has been giving me multiple opportunities to excel in this area. Basically, I just want to hide under a rock until it all goes away. I am getting better. Last week I sucked up all my courage to tell a boy with great potential to become a date rapist to never bother my daughter again in any way, shape, or form. (My hands shook after I did it...I have so much work to do in this area) Afterwards, he began plotting filing a complaint against me with the hockey office...fortunately, one of the hockey players displayed more allegiance to Hannah than him and sent her the screenshot of this conniving young boy's plan. Have I mentioned how many opportunities God is giving me to improve my conflict resolution skills?

However, my daughters are much better at facing their problems head on. I am in awe of their ability to deal with the sticky situations in life. H had a better way in dealing with the boy's unwanted attention for the past year. His behavior actually had Greg and me discussing a restraining order...for a 14 year old (a very large sized 14 year old) who wouldn't take no for an answer. Last week, Hannah sat down and emailed his parents in a very articulate manner and included screenshots to prove her allegations were true. All I can say is "Well done, Hannah. Well done."

I am taking life tips from my daughters on conflict resolution. I have so much to learn.