Last night was Girls' Night. Once a month a group of us get together to celebrate that month's birthdays. It is a night to kick back sans spouses and kids and enjoy friendship. Facebook has been integral to most of the women (stay at home moms for the most part). Facebook keeps one from feeling isolated from friends at times when it just isn't convenient to call someone...say 10 p.m at night...At 10 p.m., you can log on and see what happened in your friends' days. It is great...but there is a downside, when friendships go careening sideways and off course.
Last night a friend told me about a lovingly concerned email she sent and the unexpected result when it was not received well. The person felt criticized and defensive. The friendship now has a strain and there is a white elephant in the room every time a friend suggestion is received.
It amplified the need to really know someone when we email them...without the eye contact, the voice inflection, the body language, or just knowledge of some one's personality, we can encounter an angry response like we never imagined. The Facebook/MySpace reaction when one is angry is equivalent to giving one the forbidden finger and that is called "deletion." That deletion without explanation is a doozy. I have heard that some people even put these deletions in their status updates..."Today I was deleted by ___" or "I'm in a bad mood and I am deleting friends" (true story). I recently read something wrong and responded and I got deleted. Ouch. I told my daughter and she shook her head in a spirit of camaraderie...She said something to someone, it made them angry, she got deleted...
I am old and I am not sure if I am up to this new form of communication. I love it when it goes well but when it goes bad, it's bad.
Last night a friend told me about a lovingly concerned email she sent and the unexpected result when it was not received well. The person felt criticized and defensive. The friendship now has a strain and there is a white elephant in the room every time a friend suggestion is received.
It amplified the need to really know someone when we email them...without the eye contact, the voice inflection, the body language, or just knowledge of some one's personality, we can encounter an angry response like we never imagined. The Facebook/MySpace reaction when one is angry is equivalent to giving one the forbidden finger and that is called "deletion." That deletion without explanation is a doozy. I have heard that some people even put these deletions in their status updates..."Today I was deleted by ___" or "I'm in a bad mood and I am deleting friends" (true story). I recently read something wrong and responded and I got deleted. Ouch. I told my daughter and she shook her head in a spirit of camaraderie...She said something to someone, it made them angry, she got deleted...
I am old and I am not sure if I am up to this new form of communication. I love it when it goes well but when it goes bad, it's bad.
2 comments:
I know exactly what you mean. I joke all the time. I tell people not to take anything I say seriously and it's hard to convey that online. That's why I'm constantly using smiley faces and lol's after sentences just to show people I'm kidding around. Anyways, I understand the predicament.
I feel like I walk on glass, broken glass, sometimes. If I feel I need to say something to someone, I need to talk to them face to face or on the phone. That way, nothing is misconstrued. Is that spelled correctly?
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