Inevitably

I have a two year old house...nothing should go wrong...except I have a 5 year old and a 7 year old who do not understand the concept of taking care of the things we are blessed with...So tonight, my 19 year old had her first foray into home maintenance. Her hair is now wet with water from the toilet tank. It gave her a severe case of ick. Why was she fixing the toilet tank via cell phone with her dad? My children somehow think it a good idea to climb on the tank and this caused a leak. Why, you may ask were they climbing on the back of the toilet...Who knows? They could be vertically challenged or perhaps a monkey in the rainforest perched in a tree being played by the toilet tank...I doubt they will ever confess. Enough toilet imagery, let's get down the meat and bones of this blog...inevitably, when the man of the house goes out of town something goes kaput. Why is that? Let's review:

- Once,when we lived in Georgia, termites appeared 45 minutes after the husband leaves on a TDY. My favorite part of this story was when the exterminator asked if they had "swarmed" yet? Done what??? He explained a termite swarm...We closed the door on my daughter's bedroom door and she stayed with me in my room until the exterminator could do his job.

- We once had a cat, the coolest cat ever, well, second coolest cat ever...He followed me home one night while I was out walking with the neighbor ladies...I may have fed him, he may have forgotten to leave...I liked the cat (even with my allergy, I liked the cat) I came home around 7 p.m. and the cat hadn't been fed yet...he ran right in front of the car when the garage door opened and I was pulling in...What does the world's most squeamish woman do when she has just run over her cat and her husband is gone on business??? Sit in the car and cry...for at least 15 minutes...and then calls her neighbor, her deacon from Church...Good news here, the man used to do taxidermy...Not only did he clean up the cat, he buried him.

- Husband leaves and 3 hours later, our lovely daughter decides now would be a good time to fall off the diving board and hit her head on the side of the pool. (We established I'm squeamish right?) Fortunately, I had an extra towel that day and even more fortunately, I stayed calm. My daughter got stitches...she wasn't so calm.

Next time, we can discuss the mouse, pneumonia and a fish, snakes, computer problems, hitting a curb and flattening the tire, Roo's 3 car/boat/trailer accident...

These are just a few of the many many stories that this travel widow could tell...but Scrubs is on, my husband is gone, and duty calls...I need a laugh.