Care Instructions

Laundry time. Ladies, I know the sight of those two words just sent the blood in your veins pumping at high speed...I was looking at the care labels (not that I pay attention to them) and started thinking how nice it would be if people came with care instructions. If my little ones had care instructions they would look something like this:

M. Must lay on your left arm to go to sleep and will rub his foot against your leg until he drifts off. He is outgrowing his need for his four blankets but they will be required if he is exceptionally tired or doesn't feel good. If he gets cold at night, he will curl up against your back and run you off the bed. Must cut tags out of clothing, "They're itchy." Hide chocolate. Use chocolate to get him to take his medicine. If it is quiet, he is probably hiding under the dining room table eating ice cream out of the carton. Kraft Macaroni and cheese is his favorite food, don't take offense if you pride yourself on your cooking, just go with it.

H. Must have a story before bed. Requires multiple stuffed animals for sleeping. Needs an abundance of affection, prone to high jealousy. Loves hot dogs and pickles. Known to sneak crackers and chocolate into her bedroom. Wears some really crazy outfits and is known to wear a hat to bed. Requires lots of art paraphanalia. Sings behind closed doors. Talks ALL the time, even in her sleep.

L. Has two food requirements, chocolate and coffee. Coffee must be Starbucks or Dunkin' Donuts. Probably will not finish the coffee and will leave unfinished coffee cups all over the house (The coffee is more of a psychological boost...the smell and warmth of the cup is what she craves, she doesn't really drink it.) Requires many shoes and handbags. Needs a backup cell phone. Not a cuddle monster but requires constant back scratching. Keep her bedroom door closed or you will lose your sanity. Will get into your makeup and girly stuff without asking but will have a fit if certain Little People play with her shaving cream. Just smile. Known to fight with her little sister but is basically a wonderful big sister.

And if you have to do the laundry for these three, just remember, Dawn removes just about everything. :-)