11-25

Jan and Donna, this is for you...I am going to come up with 25 random things if it kills me...and it probably will (I am soooo boring). Here goes:

11. I am a cheap date...1/2 a glass of wine and I am under the table. I once did a wine tour of the Napa Valley and was plastered by 3:30 in the afternoon.

12. On the alcohol theme, I don't like beer but the best margarita ever is Mike Massuci's "Beer-garita." I would share the recipe but I have no idea where my Test Pilot School Recipe book is...

13. I arrange all my dollar bills face side up, same direction, lowest to greatest value.

14. I get really annoyed when the grocery bagger puts onions in with my fruit, soap with my produce (Who wants to eat an apple that smells like an onion?) or when the clerk puts something heavy on my bananas/strawberries/lettuce...can you tell I am food snob/worked in a grocery store? Can I count this one as three random things?

15. On the food note, I clean out the Commissary's Tazo Awake tea. I have no guilt about taking every last box...okay, so it has only happened twice because they have just started carrying it. Just wait.

16. I like lots of ice in my iced tea. I drink it with a straw.

17. I don't eat iceberg lettuce. My theory is if an iguana will starve on it...what's the point?

18. I do eat romaine/green leaf/red leaf/Boston. I hate field greens...there is something in there that tastes like dirt.

19. My mom gave me a real "fake" id for my 19th birthday...she wanted me to go to bars with her and her friends. True story.

20. I spent 48 hours in hard labor with Roo before getting a c-section. I am sure that qualifies as enough labor for 6-8 kids.

21. I don't mind surgery...it's that IV that puts me over the edge. When I had Roo, most of the Wright Patt Hospital tried putting an IV in me starting at 9 a.m. and they didn't successfully accomplish the insertion until 9 p.m. I will do anything to avoid an IV.

22. My first marriage proposal was when I was in 7th grade at Knott's Berry Farm. The guy even went down on his knee (we were in the Justice of the Peace).

23. I drove from CA to GA by myself on a military move after losing Greg, Roo, and the dogs at the CA/AZ border. I would find them every night at the hotel, lose them as soon as we took off the next day (sub-conscious? or just an effect of living in the pre-ubiquitous cell phone age?)

24. I thought people that entered the military losers and those who went to military academies...super geeks.... I ended up marrying an Air Force Officer who graduated from the Air Force Academy AND spending 19 years of my life as a military dependent.

25. I am constantly being humbled by God for my evil thoughts...See number 24.

For Lisa

Here are the random things you asked for on Facebook...I'm doing it here because I am too lazy to follow all the directions on Facebook AND I don't want to put anyone under the horrible pressure I felt with trying to come up with 25 things...I think I might be able to pull out 6.

1. I've always wanted to be a redhead. I think redheads are gorgeous.

2. I have always wanted blue eyes.

3. My first kiss from a boy was when I was 5 (see Roo, you can't shock me)

4. I was once hit on by Billy Martin. That will only have meaning if you followed baseball in the 70s. I still have his deposit slip asking me to meet him at the Biltmore.

5. When I was in 8th grade, a boy slapped me on the bottom and got sent to the Principal's Office. I ended up going steady with him. I was 38 before I found out he got a slap on the bottom too by our giant Assistant Principal. I was horrifed when I found out, now I think it is hysterical. He is a friend on Facebook now.

6. I was extemely shy until I was 38. Now I am too old and too tired to care what anyone thinks about me except God. I am still trying to figure out how I was voted "Friendliest" in Junior High.

7. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would voluntarily live in Ohio. I not only lived there once, but twice, and gave birth twice there.

8. I was exceptionally liberal in high school and first two years of college...then in college, I walked over to the conservative side...now I am exceptionally conservative.

9. I turn the radio up really loud on Def Lepard songs. I may have to rethink this once Miss Hannah starts singing "Pour Some Sugar on Me."

10. Okay, I am scratching the bottom of the barrel for a 10th here...OH! I tried coffee once when I was in Hawaii...I immediately spit it out in the pond with the Koi. Fish and me...well, I have a history of doing dastardly things to them. I'll save that story for summer while we hang out at the pool.

A Few Rules for the Dating Game

A few tips for my two readers who are in the dating world...I hope this helps...

1. Never throw your blind date's pack of Marlboros off the ride at Disneyland, even if you do find him loud, obnoxious and conceited. It is a long drive home to Lancaster.

2. It is probably not a good idea to change your mind about a date and leave a note on the door that says "Gone jogging."

3. Along those lines, it's probably not a good idea when a someone is coming over to hang out...to go watch your ex's football game instead.

4. Punting is not soccer, it involves a boat and a long stick...also, if you agree to go punting, stick around for the date and don't take off for Windsor Castle because it sounds more appealing than getting wet in the Thames.

5. It is probably not a good idea to laugh when your date gets tossed out a window because your posse has decided the date is a dud...Okay, the image of his cowboy boots in the air...still funny.

6. Never suggest to a guy you're dating that he lighten up. Your next date for a movie and pizza might consist of porn and Gin as a testimony to his ability to be "light." You may sit there for 10 minutes wondering if you're a thesis project of if this is for real before walking out.

7. Not a good idea to start a date with one guy and leave with another.

8. If you break rule 7, don't go back to the same hotel where you can hear the original date scream your name from the other side of the hotel...the hotel staff tends to frown on this.

I, of course, know no one who would do such things...I hope this helps your survival in the dating jungle.

Lastly, if you could see the bottom of the picture, you might see some cowboy boots.

Jack Frost

Jack Frost visited last night...This morning's drive to school was serene with the grass and pastures glistening in the sunlight. You could see the frozen dew on individual blades of grass, on the rooftops, the makings of ice on the ponds. It was beautiful. Who knew this handcrafted setting could turn into a competition between an almost 5 year old and an almost 7 year old.

H: I have more frost on my side, I see frozen water.

M: No! I do!

H: You're cheating you're looking out my side of the car!

M: I am not! You're cheating!

And so it went...the entire ride to school. I was struck at how quiet my life was for 12 1/2 years. If Roo had fought with someone...it would have been a great indication that she had developed a second personality. There wasn't anyone to fight. My second journey into motherhood has brought a level of competition I am completely unprepared for...the accusations of "You love M" more than me or "You love H" more than me...depending upon whomever is not sitting in my lap at that moment.

Art, a normally quiet experience becomes a competition...M drew a picture two weeks ago...he studied a picture on the refrigerator and announced "There is an ugly picture on the refrigerator. Take it down and put this one up." (M had just "drawn" a picture for me) I looked at the refrigerator and saw the Princess driving a car...I had a sinking feeling this is the one he had targeted, I knew we were going to go toe to toe about taking H's picture down. Sure enough, the princess was the eye offending object that needed to go. I was finally able to convince M that there was enough room for both...he didn't like it (and I am still waiting to see if that picture "disappears" sometime).

Yes, motherhood is soooo much different with two children instead of one. I am kind of hoping Jack Frost stays home tonight.

45 Seconds

What I learned this weekend in 45 seconds or less: 1.) Always check your yoga pants before going out the door...they might be on backwards. 2.) Never wear lace undergarments under lycra yoga pants...it results in a really lumpy bottom. If you have cellulite, it could get really ugly...so ugly that your friends might hold a car wash to get you the help you need. That's it...that is all I learned. It was a quiet weekend.

Time

I should put a disclaimer for all 3 of you who read my blog..."All blogs written in 2 minutes or less." Why? Because they are...I have found that what appears to be the perfect time to get on the computer will turn into not so perfect because the quiet kids have turned into wrestling kids. Time...one minute quiet, the next minute chaos.

Take last night for instance...I thought soup the perfect dinner for the bone chilling night. I brought the soup to the full rolling boil point. I am thinking I am such a great mom providing such a perfect dinner for my perfect family...Then, in a split second, that rolling boil soup hit my hand...then time really stood still. I could not get rid of the ladle and the bowl fast enough and the more I tried to get rid of the offending soup, the more I burned my hands...It is amazing how many thoughts run through your mind while being burned...If I drop the bowl it will hit the range top (one of those flat surface kinds) and will break the bowl, soup will fly, I will get burned more, will the range top crack if I drop a ceramic bowl on it? I got the soup down, ran to the sink and turned the water on for my hands. There is one advantage to this bitter cold...the water comes out like it has been cooled in ice. I stood there for a very long time before my slow brain thought of filling a tub for my hands. I later switched to my daughter's princess boo boo cold pack...those things don't stay cold very long. I ended up taking a blue ice to bed with me. Seriously. Time, one minute it is for you, the next against. Hopefully, y'all have a blue ice to comfort you when you get burned.

Life in the Schoolyard

Recent events have taken me back to painful lessons I have learned in the schoolyard and in life. I learned the hard way in school. I learned the hard way not to take sides when friends have a rift. I always picked a side, the two friends made up and now I was on the outside. It has taken me a lifetime to figure out what to do when I am angry with someone or two people I care about fall out...I was 38 before the words of wisdom came to me. Was I or the offended party sinned against or was God sinned against? If God is being sinned against, easy call. If I am upset because I am not getting my way...I am sinning. If two people I care about are in a dispute, I have to look at it the same way.

I was 39 before I learned my most important lesson in parenting...Love your kids like they won't be here in a year and teach them like you won't be here in a year.

This week these two principles of my limited wisdom have been brought into my life. Someone I care about very much is very upset because I have not stopped talking to someone who hurt her. Does this mean I care less about her? Absolutely not. I had to go to the Bible for my decision in this. When Hagar and Sarai hurt each other (and Abram sat passively by...men, another story) did God let Hagar hide when she ran away? No. "The God who sees" lovingly told her to go back and to do what is right. All three characters had to reap the consequences of their sin. Did God love them less because he wouldn't let His loved children hide when the going got rough? He loved them passionately. He refined their character by letting His loved children learn to do what is right even if when it was painful and uncomfortable. I must love those around me in the same way.

If my sweet H hits another child in the schoolyard and the other child says "I don't want to be your friend anymore" I am not going to take H's side. I am a weird mom, I believe my child needs to apologize for any offense and understand if that child never wants to play with her again. I am not going to remove H from the uncomfortable situation of being friendless. We're not moving, she isn't changing schools. She is going to have to see that child everyday and learn how to deal with it. It is a consequence. It is a situation my child is going to face throughout her life when she sins against others and does not honor God. I believe it is for His glory that he lets us reap what we sow.

I love my friends and family deeply but I have go one step further in this crazy life we lead...do I protect them from their hurt or let them learn to deal with it? One day I won't be here, all I can do is love them like crazy, pray for them daily, and let them learn.