Inevitably

I have a two year old house...nothing should go wrong...except I have a 5 year old and a 7 year old who do not understand the concept of taking care of the things we are blessed with...So tonight, my 19 year old had her first foray into home maintenance. Her hair is now wet with water from the toilet tank. It gave her a severe case of ick. Why was she fixing the toilet tank via cell phone with her dad? My children somehow think it a good idea to climb on the tank and this caused a leak. Why, you may ask were they climbing on the back of the toilet...Who knows? They could be vertically challenged or perhaps a monkey in the rainforest perched in a tree being played by the toilet tank...I doubt they will ever confess. Enough toilet imagery, let's get down the meat and bones of this blog...inevitably, when the man of the house goes out of town something goes kaput. Why is that? Let's review:

- Once,when we lived in Georgia, termites appeared 45 minutes after the husband leaves on a TDY. My favorite part of this story was when the exterminator asked if they had "swarmed" yet? Done what??? He explained a termite swarm...We closed the door on my daughter's bedroom door and she stayed with me in my room until the exterminator could do his job.

- We once had a cat, the coolest cat ever, well, second coolest cat ever...He followed me home one night while I was out walking with the neighbor ladies...I may have fed him, he may have forgotten to leave...I liked the cat (even with my allergy, I liked the cat) I came home around 7 p.m. and the cat hadn't been fed yet...he ran right in front of the car when the garage door opened and I was pulling in...What does the world's most squeamish woman do when she has just run over her cat and her husband is gone on business??? Sit in the car and cry...for at least 15 minutes...and then calls her neighbor, her deacon from Church...Good news here, the man used to do taxidermy...Not only did he clean up the cat, he buried him.

- Husband leaves and 3 hours later, our lovely daughter decides now would be a good time to fall off the diving board and hit her head on the side of the pool. (We established I'm squeamish right?) Fortunately, I had an extra towel that day and even more fortunately, I stayed calm. My daughter got stitches...she wasn't so calm.

Next time, we can discuss the mouse, pneumonia and a fish, snakes, computer problems, hitting a curb and flattening the tire, Roo's 3 car/boat/trailer accident...

These are just a few of the many many stories that this travel widow could tell...but Scrubs is on, my husband is gone, and duty calls...I need a laugh.

Tie Your Shoes

I have absolutely nothing amazing to write about but I do have another lesson to share for those who use treadmills. (Fortunately, I was not the one to learn this lesson, I am usually the one doing stupid things) Ladies and Gentlemen before you get on the treadmill, make sure your shoes are tied...double tied. You know the commercial where the guy on the treadmill goes backwards and falls? The poor girl flew off the treadmill (she was running at a pretty good clip) and landed face down, spread eagle on the floor when she tripped over her shoelace. It wasn't pretty.

That's today's lesson.

Love,
Mom

Today's Lesson

Today's lesson is another one in communication. Yesterday I read something wrong and didn't ask what was meant (boy, did that blow up in my face.) Today I didn't hear correctly. I was on the phone when the neighbor girl Miss E came into tell on M. I sent M to his room for a timeout and set the timer for five minutes. When M came downstairs he asked if he had to ask forgiveness. I said "Yes, you kicked her." M replied "I KISSED her!" Oops. You know I should have wondered how his little leg could have reached her cheek. Today's lesson, listen carefully and ask questions...prevent miscommunication. Perhaps I should just put myself in a timeout, that would be 47 minutes for me since I am 47 years old. (Can I read a book?)

Whatever

Devil words...God words. I remember learning about these in Speech Communication waaaay back in my college days. Devil words evoked a negative feeling in the hearer and God words created a pleasant feeling in the hearer. Words...they create such powerful emotions, written or spoken they affect the listener or reader. Words are so easily tossed around without much thought and yet the person on the receiving end of those words might possibly remember them for the rest of her life. Words can build up or they can cut so deep it can feel like a mortal wound. It's funny how a word can really affect one person and have no affect on another.

I never really thought I had a "devil" word, today I discovered I do, it is "Whatever." To this hearer, it conveys a complete lack of regard for the person on the receiving end. It is like being told you don't matter and are not worth respect. I am glad I heard it today from an adult. It gave me pause. It made me think. What are my words saying to someone? Are they uplifting or hurtful? I guess there is a reason God tells us we will have to give an account for all of our words. The affect on a relationship can last a lifetime. Words are powerful.

Today

Today I had an appointment on the other side of town. While at my appointment, my minded started drifting with different thoughts..."When I get done I can go to Fresh Market...I'm thirsty. OH! When I am done at Fresh Market, I can go to McAlister's and get some iced tea. I can see Rob." And then it occurred to me, Rob is not there. Rob will never be there again. I really hate when the mind has not caught up to reality. I don't remember how long it took me to realize my dad would never call again. He used to call every Saturday morning so when the phone would ring, I expected him...and then my brain would catch up and I would realize, he's never calling again.

Today...I miss my dad and there is no Rob, the world is a little sadder place.

Why?

My latest tag on Facebook asks all sort of questions about pregnancy and childbirth...25 questions I believe. Now who would want to know about my pregnancy and childbirths? They were torture. These stories should only be used on people that need to be persuaded to never get pregnant, like teenagers. Who wants to hear about sticking my finger four times a day for blood? Who wants to hear about a woman who was induced into hard labor and spent 48 hours in hard labor complete with morphine before a c-section? Is the author of this "Fun Mom Survey" crazy? Who wants to hear about watching Baby H get stuck over and over for blood? Who wants to hear about my spinal headache with M? Geez, women, let's keep our stories quiet so people will actually be foolish enough to think it is a great experience. If anyone knew the truth about pregnancy and childbirth, the world population would cease. Ladies, let's keep it a secret and not put it all over Facebook.

Care Instructions

Laundry time. Ladies, I know the sight of those two words just sent the blood in your veins pumping at high speed...I was looking at the care labels (not that I pay attention to them) and started thinking how nice it would be if people came with care instructions. If my little ones had care instructions they would look something like this:

M. Must lay on your left arm to go to sleep and will rub his foot against your leg until he drifts off. He is outgrowing his need for his four blankets but they will be required if he is exceptionally tired or doesn't feel good. If he gets cold at night, he will curl up against your back and run you off the bed. Must cut tags out of clothing, "They're itchy." Hide chocolate. Use chocolate to get him to take his medicine. If it is quiet, he is probably hiding under the dining room table eating ice cream out of the carton. Kraft Macaroni and cheese is his favorite food, don't take offense if you pride yourself on your cooking, just go with it.

H. Must have a story before bed. Requires multiple stuffed animals for sleeping. Needs an abundance of affection, prone to high jealousy. Loves hot dogs and pickles. Known to sneak crackers and chocolate into her bedroom. Wears some really crazy outfits and is known to wear a hat to bed. Requires lots of art paraphanalia. Sings behind closed doors. Talks ALL the time, even in her sleep.

L. Has two food requirements, chocolate and coffee. Coffee must be Starbucks or Dunkin' Donuts. Probably will not finish the coffee and will leave unfinished coffee cups all over the house (The coffee is more of a psychological boost...the smell and warmth of the cup is what she craves, she doesn't really drink it.) Requires many shoes and handbags. Needs a backup cell phone. Not a cuddle monster but requires constant back scratching. Keep her bedroom door closed or you will lose your sanity. Will get into your makeup and girly stuff without asking but will have a fit if certain Little People play with her shaving cream. Just smile. Known to fight with her little sister but is basically a wonderful big sister.

And if you have to do the laundry for these three, just remember, Dawn removes just about everything. :-)