Broken Hearts,Shattered Lives

"Hi Mom!" was my greeting by Rob. It was a big greeting with a smile that lit up his face...sometimes I was so distracted by my little people that my big person would have to say "Mom, Rob just said 'Hi.'" I would look up and see this big grin and huge wave coming from the McAllister's kitchen. My kids loved Rob, they would run up to him and give him huge hugs and he would inevitably give H a piggy back ride.

I read a MySpace bulletin once that my daughter responded to one time that asked "Who tells the funniest jokes?" Her answer was Rob.

Rob's passing is going to leave a lot of heavy broken hearts and some shattered lives. There will be a lot of "What ifs" and "I should have..." I don't think he would want it that way. I think he would want us to remember him for the laughs he gave us and to take care of his still new bride, comfort his family and treat each other kindly.

Influenced

Jackie Nelson passed away on New Year's Eve, 2009. I am blessed to have known her. Jackie,was the mother of my best friend in college, Karen Nelson.

Jackie treated me like a daughter and opened her home to me on many occasions. I lived in Lancaster and went to school at California State University, Northridge, as a commuter.

There are so many wonderful memories of being a guest at the Nelsons and being profoundly impacted by this family. There was the week in 1984 when we got hit with a huge snowstorm and it was finals week at CSUN. Jackie allowed me to come stay the week as soon as I could get out of the Valley. Karen and I spent most of the day on Tuesday on the phone with weather updates instead of studying . I finally got out and made it to my finals. Karen even drove me to the Airport after finals were over so I could go to England for three weeks.

Karen and I went to a Halloween Party in Beverly Hills with some of Karen's friends and the Nelsons contributed to my Halloween costume. Jackie was always helpful at accessorizing me...she provided a necklace once when Karen and I were doing up the town, and she provided the earrings when I got married...the something borrowed.

Bill and Jackie were in Kuwait when Iran invaded. They were taken hostage and I remember praying like I have never prayed before...Jackie was released and then Bill. God is good.

The biggest influence Jackie had on my life though is really simple. She was a stay at home mom and it was this that helped me decide to be the same. I had planned a career but when I stayed with the Nelsons, I got to see how nice it was to have simple home dinners with the family and someone to sit with while I ate my breakfast. Jackie made me a piece of toast and some tea, then she sat down and talked with me while I ate. A simple act that has stayed with me a lifetime.

I know she touched many others in her lifetime and I am blessed God allowed me to be one of them.

Chick Flicks

Roo and I have a long tradition of watching Chick Flicks on rainy days...before H and M, we would usually pull out the Wedgwood tea set and insert Pride and Prejudice and have marathon Chick Flick time.

Life became a little busier with the addition of H and M and chick flick time has been drastically reduced...we're happy if we can watch Friday Night Lights in the same room.

However, Chick Flick time took a turn with Roo's college break. Roo joined me on the couch for Band of Brothers and The Longest Day. This was delightful to share an interest of mine with my eldest child. There is a funny side to this...my dad was passionate about history also, but he didn't think girls should be so my brother inherited the WWII and Civil War books to my dismay and I got the Art books. I laugh as Roo and me share this interest...if he could see us...Would he be proud or ask what we did with Pride and Prejudice?

By the way, I am working on my own library for the American Revolution, Civil War (or the War of Northern Aggression, if you're a Southerner) and the two World Wars. History ain't just for boys and Chick Flicks can include hott soldiers.

Rainy Days and Mondays...Nope, Tuesday

It's raining again. I think it is safe to say the worst drought in 150 years is over...And because it is raining again, I think I should get extra points for going to the gym today. Rainy days should be spent with someone who makes your heart skip a beat or (and in my case since I am old) with a hot cup of tea and a really good book....and a fire...except I like to read in my quiet room and the family room contains the fireplace...Maybe I could put a firepit outside my living room window...then I could have the best of both worlds. I digress, which isn't unusual.

I still would have preferred the tea and book but my buddy, Donna, showed up for the gym so I feel like I accomplished something. If only not to get publicly flogged on Facebook for being a no show at the gym...

I will keep this short...if I quit now I can get one hour of reading in before it is time to pick up H, take her to ballet and then take both of the Little People for their first day of swim class...Yeah, I know, swim class in January...Nuts, right? Blame this on my going to the gym and running into Steve who wanted to know why H and M weren't signed up like usual...Yes, my children are famous at the gym...They both kicked and screamed for the first two months of swim class...the entire staff would try to coax them into a state of happiness...now? They are both fish...which is a good thing since it is so wet outside.

Ciao, it's time to see what is up with King George III.

The Green Chair

If this chair could talk, what stories it could tell. I fell in love with the chair when we lived in Georgia. It was my favorite type of chair...a wingback and it reclined. What more could a girl ask for? It matched the couch and loveseat we were buying for our new home and it was the most relaxing shade of green. That was 12 years ago.

The chair has been moved from Georgia to Iowa to Alabama to Ohio to Massachusetts to Virginia and back to Alabama. It is time to replace the chair but it is like letting go of a long lost friend. When we bought the chair it provided just the right amount of sophistication for me and my new home...the perfect amount of comfort.

The chair kept my feet up during my unexpected pregnancy with H. I loved to sit in it while homeschooling Roo. Our cat thought it was its own personal scratchpost much to my dismay. My favorite quiet moments were in Massachusetts watching the snow fall and nursing H while reclining in the chair. I cannot tell you how many times I have sat in the chair and held a sleeping child or been thrown up on by one of those angelic children...I was always the target and fortunately, the chair never came out as bad as I did. The chair was a peacemaker when we brought M home from the hospital and H wasn't speaking to me. She got sick the night I came home and the chair was in our bedroom so we reclined it and she slept there that night. She started speaking to me again and somehow she never went back to her bad but kept sleeping in the reclined chair. Numerous bedtime stories have been read from that chair...too many naps to count have been taken in that chair...I noticed a few months ago the wingback on the left side was working loose and now there is a rip in the fabric...It is time to replace it but how? There are so many stories in that chair.

MJ and Mr. Gator

Chomp. I woke up to this sound and to the face of an alligator/crocodile. (It is supposed to be a gator but I think it is a crocodile) I also saw the impish face of my little boy with a mischievous grin on his face. I love when he wakes up, he always has a smile on his face. His little cheeks plump up like apples when he smiles.

Tonight it was difficult getting him to sleep. He told his daddy a lie about eating his dinner so he didn't get his dessert. This did not go over well with the Little Man. He loves his chocolate (the boy needs a 12 step program for chocolate). There was a lot of crying and declarations that he was going to leave home with Sissy. Apparently, the two of them are going to live outside next to the house. I bet Sissy is going to love that...she's not much of a camper. Finally, after M was sure we understood how displeased he is with us as parents, he climbed into my lap put his head on my chest and fell asleep. He is the picture of innocence when he is sleeping.

M's normal mode of falling asleep after his story is to put his head on my left arm and drift off to sleep after staring at nothing for a few minutes. I will move him but he tends to come back like a heat seeking missile. He tends to sleep in my back leaving me on the edge of my mattress...and I wonder why I am always tired. It is funny the way he curls into my back...a few weeks ago I dreamed about going to prom but I had a bunch of sticks and leaves stuck to the back of my dress. I am sure this was a result of the little man putting pressure on my back during the middle of my R.E.M.s

Then morning comes and I get the sweetest smile, kiss, and a hug...suddenly my sweet boy turns into all boy, he's off the bed with a bang and he is full force energy and personality for the rest of the day. He is amazing

The Walk

Tuesday was one of those days that felt really good to be alive. I took the kids for a walk, M needed to try out his new bicycle and H needed to ride her new scooter. The kids felt water bottles were necessary so H packed up two bottles and put them in her backpack...away we went. We had to take regular breaks and the sweatshirts had to come off and the water bottles came out of the backpack. Each time we came upon the pond's 4th footbridge, M had to stop and throw rocks in the pond. The ducks would think it was food and let their displeasure be known that we weren't feeding them. M's face took on a rosy glow and H had joy with every breath...

H began planning morning walks at the crack of dawn not realizing this little glimpse of heaven would end the following day with some really cold weather...now, you cannot blast them out of the house. It is chilly but Tuesday, the sun warmed your cheeks, the breeze lifted your hair and brushed it across your face like a kiss, our neighborhood pond glistened in the sun, the ducks were quacking and the leaves softly rustled the leaves. Perfection.