parenting

I've always thought it funny that you have to take a test to drive a car but not to be a parent.

Lately, I feel like I have come up short on parenting skills and if I took a test, I would achieve a high D or very low C.

I feel this huge weight on me and I can't seem to lift it. A few days ago, I noticed Hannah had her stuffed animal, Marley. Marley has been on the shelf a few years and I noticed Marley has been by her side every day since I first noticed it. A huge sign to this parent, she needs her childhood friend for a feeling of security.

School for both of my brilliant children (they are both far more intelligent than me) has been a source of friction the last few months.

School for both kids is online and two days a week in the classroom for my social kids...it's a very quiet environment much like an actual college environment but not conducive to making friends. Both would like to go to the high school next to our subdivision but....there is a 5 parent note limit and hockey would exceed this in two tournaments...and we get home so late from Nashville, Matthew can sleep in with his current school. He is a sound sleeper so getting him up at any time is a challenge, the earlier tho more difficult.

Hockey is another area I can't find an answer. Do I move Matthew to another team or do we stay where we are. We are blessed, we have options, both teams want him but I don't have peace about either team.

If I move him, I don't have to drive to Nashville. However, he would have to practice with the local U18 team...which a U18 mom probably wouldn't like at all and would the Team's Coach actually coach him or focus on his team? Who would blame him?

Neither of these situations are life and death and I know other parents are dealing with much more serious issues with their children but I feel this huge weight on me...like actual weight...and I can't figure out what to do and both situations need a decision...Soon. Hockey, tomorrow and school next week.

I keep waiting for a sign from God. My prayers for wisdom and discernment are leaving me with no gift of either...so I pray and hope no one gives me a report card on my parenting. I always had good grades in school and this feeling of failure is a heavy burden I can't shake.